Hide the porn!!!

So I'm sitting in the Flight Path in Austin, TX. It's a coffee shop/cafe providing free internet to patrons- the kind of place that has a porch on which pampered pooches hang out with their wireless parents. It's in the type of neighborhood where a 1200 square foot bungalow goes for $309,000. (Read: yuppie, Birkenstock, reminiscent of my hometown...)

Anyhow, I digress. I was going to catch y'all up on my adventures as of late. The week immediately following finals I was in P-town for a wedding. There I confirmed I was indeed headed to b-school this fall and came up with several creative answers for the query: Are you crazy? Most of them involved some reference to my student loan balance or b-school as a glorified career search.

The entire time I was in P-town I was lamenting about my future employers, who had not yet offered me a job. They called while I was in Target and informed me they were excited to offer me a paid position for the summer, and they were sorry it had taken so long, but the president had been in a car accident and had not been able to make it into work. I silently withdrew my previous curses... Oops... Anyhow, I'll be at a non-profit that provides small business start-up education and financing, evaluating their process for managing risk on their loan portfolio. Yeah, totally qualified to do that... Right... So I told my dad what I'd be doing...

Dad: Um, Princess, I've never said this before, but I don't know if you can actually do that...
Me: Yeah. My thoughts exactly. But shouldn't it be similar to stocks? I mean, the idea is just to eliminate risk with inverse risks, right? I know about that Beta thingy... Shouldn't it be similar?
Dad *more positive*: Oh, you know about "that Beta thingy." Well, maybe you can do it- they'll train you anyhow. You'll be fine.

So, after surviving the week-long blast from my past, I was back to B-town for less than a week before taking off to Austin for the summer. After spending time with friends celebrating the end of the year and the beginning of the summer (without the appropriate amount of alcohol- what kind of law student am I?!), I packed up the Pimpstress (Yes, you read that right. She's my sporty red Celica. My friend and I named her in high school. Yes, we must have been crazy at the time.) with the necessities: clothes, laptop, DVDs and golf clubs. I quickly cleaned up the B-town apartment, meaning I overturned every piece of furniture and swiffered both sides of every blind in the place, and took off for my Texan adventure.

17 hours and 1000 miles later I arrived in Austin at nearly the exact same time M returned from work in SFO. He was kind enough to let me stay with him this weekend since I couldn't move into the place I'm subletting until Sunday. He worked some more from his living room, but I was able to spend some time with him on Saturday, time that involved alcohol. Lots of alcohol. Sunday he worked all afternoon, but managed to take me to dinner, before heading home to pack and leave at 4am this morning for SFO. Seriously, the life of a consultant sounds glamorous, but it's full of demanding clients, grimey airports, shared cubicles and disgruntled girlfriends. Oh, and cocktails. Lots of cocktails.

So after M dropped me off last night, I tried to get the TV working. I figured I should watch the news and try to get acquainted with my new home. Much to my chagrin, I couldn't figure it out. I also couldn't get the internet to work. Every wireless network is password protected. Damn security. Even plugging directly into the router in the bedroom didn't work. Maybe I should have taken lessons from my ex, instead of simply demanding he fix everything for me... Anyhow, I decided I couldn't go from 6:30pm until bedtime without any electronic stimulation, so I checked out the DVD/VHS collection, which she said I could use. DVDs were ok, and the VHS weren't labeled on the outside, so I popped one in, expecting to encounter taped Days of our Lives or something. It only took a split second for me to realize that the only piece of clothing contained on the 3 movie stars was a pair of white striped stockings, which were spread eagle in the air. A tanned body above them making grunting noises and the second woman leaning over the first making... noises. My jaw dropped and I quickly hit stop. Then play. Then stop again. Yes, it really was porn. OMG! Who sublets her apartment and leaves porn? My sublettor- a new law school grad. Seriously. HIDE THE PORN!!!